is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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