Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
