is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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