bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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