I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
