Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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