brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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