I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
