All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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