just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
