I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
