If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
