That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
