do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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