If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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