so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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