six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
