The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I am naked and annoyed.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
