There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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