he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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