Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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