I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
40s are totally the cure
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
