He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
