when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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