took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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