Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She said her name was "party"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
