i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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