your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
