is your mom at the bar?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
