ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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