Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
