I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She swung at the pinata with crutches
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
