i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
