i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
