this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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