But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
