just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
