Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
BRING THE BAGELS
Bring me that man meat
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
