we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
