I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I want to be your penis for a week.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize