i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
