Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
