you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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