Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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