Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
