p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
