so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
