her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
and she was petting her beer can
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If I die, sorry about rent.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
