At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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