This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
