She announced her abortion via fbk
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
