she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
