In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
