i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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