I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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