I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
