i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
