You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize