I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
